Mia Valentine: Lover Girl on a Spirit Quest

Mia Valentine is a master at creating her irresistible online persona and her presence in real life is equally magnetic. I’ve photographed Mia many times and she is such a fun model to shoot- her dynamic posing and attention to detail with her jewelry, nails, and insanely dope lingerie make every shoot such a joy. I first met Mia in NYC - I was familiar with her instagram and we met one night while working in the same strip club. We were both newly moved to NYC and coincidentally had both moved here after living for a couple years in Asia- she had been living in Japan and I had been living in Korea.

Mia is a powerful woman who creates her own lane and follows her heart and I’m so inspired by her. I sat down with her to discuss a 10 day ayahuascua retreat she went on in upstate New York.

Follow along on Mia’s adventures on instagram here and check out her irresistible spicy site here

I know that you travel to collaborate with other OF creators which is so cool! Can you talk a little bit about that?  

Yes, I travel a lot and I love planning my photo shoots and schedule before I leave—especially when I’m heading somewhere new. It’s a great way to meet locals and make connections quickly.

When I go to Japan, people are usually very organized and prepared, which I really appreciate. But in places like New York or LA, I’ve found it harder to connect with other creators. In NYC, a lot of the sex work scene is in-person—escorts and dommes tend to do really well there. In LA, it’s more challenging because people often cancel last minute.

So for the most part, I do solo work or collaborate with close friends.

Do you have a structure you create for yourself everyday with your Only Fans? Or is it more free flowing?

It’s very free-flowing! It’s like, we’ll see how it goes today. I’m trying to work on bringing a bit more structure into my day.

I’m always fascinated with how people like us create their own life and make it sustainable. You seem very focused and clear minded with your Only Fans and you’re so good at performing in that space!

I want to hear about this recent ayahuasca retreat you experienced. How long have you been attending these kinds of retreats and how did you first get interested in them?

Yes! I go pretty deep in the psychedelic and healing world. I’ve attended my retreat about 10 times now. Each one typically involves taking ayahuasca three nights in a row, so I’ve had quite a bit of experience with it.

My most recent retreat was for a dieta, which is a more intense version. It lasts 9 days—I fast for 3 of them, and the entire retreat is held in silence. I take the medicine every other day, so it’s definitely a deep dive into the process.

I’d been really interested in trying ayahuasca for a few years before I finally did it. I’ve always been into psychedelics, but I knew ayahuasca was more of a spiritual journey—not something you just take to get fucked up. It’s definitely not for fun in the casual sense.

I didn’t want to travel all the way to Peru for my first time, so when I found a retreat in upstate New York, I finally went for it. It was a really beautiful experience. I was there for 3 days, and honestly, it felt like a spiritual spa.

What does it do for your mind? How does it make you feel?

It’s always different. Every experience shows you what you need to see, and a lot depends on your intention going in. It can range from something incredibly beautiful, loving, and ecstatic… to diving into really dark, scary places.

In my world, I like to believe these plants are higher spiritual entities here to teach us. When you’re sitting with ayahuasca, it feels like there’s a higher being guiding you through the experience. There’s a voice—and sometimes it sounds like your own—but you can tell it’s something outside of you. You’re never really alone in it.

How would you describe your first experience and what it did for you?

I’ve done it so many times now, but my first experience was very loving—which I’m really grateful for. A lot of people have intense or even scary first journeys, and some don’t feel anything at all. But for me, it was incredibly heart-opening. I felt this immense love—for myself, for the experience, for the people in my life. It gave me a clear view of just how incredible my life really is.

Once you take the plant, you just sit silently—you’re not walking around or talking. Everyone stays quiet and internal. Then the next morning, we have a sharing circle where everyone talks about what they went through the night before. People open up about their deepest fears, mistakes, childhood traumas—things you don’t normally hear from strangers.

That’s one of the reasons I keep going back. There’s this deep sense of community built around people who are genuinely trying to grow and better themselves. You don’t know what anyone does for work or how they present in their everyday lives—they’re just there as humans. And I think that’s such a beautiful space to be in.

When you come back after an experience like that, how do you feel it affects your day to day or your mental state?

It’s definitely been a journey. I know people who’ve done it once and say they’ve never felt depressed again—but they’d never do it a second time. For me, sometimes there’s this beautiful afterglow from having such an intense, heart-opening experience. When I get home, I want to talk to everyone, I feel light, like I’m floating on clouds. But I’ve also realized that feeling is hard to maintain. There’s always a come-down, and you have to learn to ride those waves.

It’s not a magic pill that fixes everything. The real work begins after the retreat, when you’re back in your regular life. You can’t expect to go back to being the exact same person. For me, it’s been a process of slowly pushing past old habits and patterns. I definitely catch myself slipping back into my old self at times, but when I look at who I was when I started and who I am now, I can see the growth. It’s just been a slow, gradual journey.

Do you struggle with depression?

Don’t we all? I’ve definitely wrestled with anxiety and depression, though I only started actually calling it that in the last 2–3 years. Before that, I was like, “I can’t be depressed—I have a good life and a cute outfit on.” But yeah, mental health doesn’t really care about your outfit.

The past few years have been a whirlwind. I moved to Japan, then to New York. My relationship ended. I basically hit the reset button on my whole life—new places, new patterns, trying to find community again. It’s been a ride. Lots of movement, lots of change, and learning how to stay grounded somewhere in the chaos.

I absolutely relate with that experience. I’ve also gone through many changes quickly in the past few years. Feeling grounded and connected to yourself is such a spiritual practice. It doesn’t come easily. 

I’m curious about the cost of the ayahuasca retreat you did. What do you pay for a 10 day spiritual journey like this and what does it include?

For the dieta experience I did, it cost around $3,000. We stayed in really nice private tents with real beds inside, so it was definitely comfortable. They provided food, but we actually fasted for the first two days. After the fast, the meals were pretty bland—simple things like oats or eggs. We’d get food twice a day, at 8am and 4pm.

For a regular 3-day weekend retreat, it’s less—around $400 a night. For that, you stay in the main house. There, you have access to things like a sauna (which is free—I basically lived in there), and you can also book sessions with massage therapists, chiropractors, and reiki healers, though those are paid separately. And the food is the same, but you don't fast for this.

What was it like for you to be on a prolonged day of silence. How do you deal with boredom? Where does your mind go?

It’s certainly boring sometimes. I’d wake up early, around 7am, and spend a lot of time just looking at the grass and trees, journaling, painting, doodling, or reading. They suggest reading something spiritual or science fiction—something that keeps your mind open but grounded.

For me, this experience released a lot of anger I’d been holding—some childhood trauma, especially around my father. You know, all the fun stuff.

How did time feel on those many days of silence for you?

Time went by so slowly. I was seriously pissed on some of those days. I get hangry really fast, and I couldn’t stop thinking about food

How often do you have an ayahuasca experience during those 10 days? 

We drank on the second day, then took two days off. Then we did it again, took another two days off, and did it one more time followed by another two-day break. On the off days, we’d do some group meditations together. so 4 times. 

Can you tell me about these 4 times you did Ayahuasca on this 10 day retreat? Can you tell me how it affects you emotionally or physically? I’ve heard people throw up- were you throwing up?

With ayahuasca, one of the most common things people associate it with—especially if they’ve never done it—is the puking. It’s kind of the only visual people have of the experience, since so much of it is internal and hard to describe. But on this retreat, we don’t eat for a long time before drinking, so there’s often nothing physical to throw up. What happens instead is more of an energetic purge. Sometimes tears will just roll down your face—not even from sadness, just release or your body can start shaking, There are so many ways to purge, and it’s not always about puking.

Emotionally, I went through all the emotions. It can be exhausting, but it’s always incredibly rewarding to sit with yourself and really think deeply about the shit going on in your life. It’s not easy, but there’s something powerful about giving yourself that kind of space to process.

Does this experience affect your rest or dream state?

It depends. Sometimes I’m really fucked up and can’t sleep at all—or it takes me a long time to finally fall asleep. Other times, I’m so exhausted that I knock out right away. We usually start the ceremony around 9pm and finish around 3am, so by the end of it, I’m often just completely wiped.

Oh, really? So you're starting at 9pm and it's lasting that long?

Yeah, not too crazy—like five to six hours. Maybe that’s a long time for some, but not for me, haha.

How many times did you do ayahuasca leading up to this 10 day retreat? 

In three years, I’ve gone about ten times, so I’ve done ayahuasca around 21 times or so.

In all of those experiences have you always felt a good vibe from the people you’re sharing the experience with?  It seems like an environment with many variables and a lot of different energy coming from different people.

Sometimes things can get a little overwhelming if certain people are being too loud or whatever, but personally, I’ve been fine. There were 23 of us on this retreat, and everyone was sweet—but I’m not there to try to talk to everybody. If I connect with someone, that’s cool.

If somebody is interested in doing ayahuasca, how would you suggest they research it or prepare their mind to experience it?

I guess everybody’s different. I’ve met people on retreats who have never done any drugs—ayahuasca is their very first experience with psychedelics—and I’m like, whoa, that’s intense… good luck!

If someone’s never done psychedelics, I usually suggest trying mushrooms first. They’re similar but less intense. You could start with a small dose, like 2-3 grams. It can put you in a meditative state where you just listen to reiki music, close your eyes and go deep in.  I’ve done that with my mom—we’d take mushrooms and meditate together. It’s a gentle introduction to psychedelics.

With ayahuasca, you can have really intense, sometimes scary experiences. And honestly, you should only try these things if you feel genuinely called to it. It’s not for everyone. Never let anyone peer pressure you into it. 

Where does your interest and motivation come from to pursue it? 

Mushrooms gave me a healing space and a way to connect with something outside of myself—something higher. They help me think more deeply and give me a bigger perspective on the universe, what we’re probably made of, or what might be out there. They keep me very open-minded and help me manage my day-to-day problems better.

How is the ayahuasca retreat experience concluded? 

They usually close the ceremony with a talk about the importance of gratitude. Then we all do sharing circles the next day, which is really important. We conclude the retreat by having a meal with salt—which is fantastic!

Is this something you think you’ll do regularly for your mental health? 

Yes, absolutely. This is part of who I am. I’m a very spiritual person—I’m always looking to have deep, meaningful connections with myself, with the world around me, with Mother Nature, and with the people who cross my path. This keeps me receptive to all of that. It keeps me open, ready to face challenges, and able to love more deeply.

It also helps me keep my intake of other substances more in check. I’ve been drinking a lot less since I started doing it, and it’s helped me a lot with my ketamine addiction.

That’s so great- I will always love drugs and alcohol but it gets to be too much here in New York. It’s so important to me to take a month off from substance use here and there because otherwise it can become this daily thing.

Can you explain how it feels to take the plant? 

Honestly, it’s hard to explain. It’s such a unique experience for everyone, and even for the same person, it can feel completely different every time. There’s a wild, expansive range of experiences—it’s never the same twice. You really have to sit with it yourself to understand.

If I had to describe it, I’d say… if you’ve ever taken a high dose of mushrooms, closed your eyes, and fully gone inward—it’s kind of like that, but multiplied by 100.

At the end of the day, we live in a crazy, hectic world—the internet, constant noise, all the distractions of modern life. It can get really overwhelming. The plant helps you disconnect from all of that and reconnect with something deeper inside yourself.

It’s crazy how much we think we connect with each other through phones and social media. When I see people in social situations they refer to my life that they perceive on instagram and think I’m super busy with shoots. Sometimes I am, a lot of times I’m not.

I get that all the time too—people are like, “You’re so busy and always going everywhere!” But honestly, I’m mostly just at home, chilling with my dog and listening to music. It’s funny how different other people’s perceptions of you can be.

I think people don’t understand how to process the media they’re taking in. It’s not representative of people’s actual lives.

 You can still get caught up in the illusion of it—I know I have. Social media isn’t real. Most of it is just a highlight reel, while people might be dealing with a lot behind the scenes.

The funny part is, we know this. We’re aware of it—and yet we still fall for it anyway

Are you off your phone and computer at this time?

Right now, I’m still a little detached from it after my ayahuasca retreat—but I won’t lie, it’s definitely a struggle for me.

Yeah I like to think about it like I have control over the input I give my brain and when I put way too much unhelpful, inconsequential input into my brain it affects my mental health 100% in a negative way. That’s why I respect doing a retreat like this so much because you’re actively making a choice to clear out a lot of the bullshit that takes up your mental space.

Yeah, we really don’t have enough quiet in our lives. I think our brains are starting to develop ADHD from all the constant input we’re exposed to. It’s so much stimulation, all the time. Taking a break from it shows you that it’s actually not a scary place to be without your phone. It can even feel kind of peaceful.

Do you have any self care practices in your day to day life? 

I NEED and LOVE a bath—petals, bubbles, wine, incense, all the good stuff. I also find a lot of comfort in having movie nights at home with a projector and cuddling with my dog. I like finding weird, dark, cool films—Wong Kar-wai comes to mind.

Is there anything else you would like to say about what the ayahuasca experience did for you spiritually or emotionally? 

I really believe there’s a huge future for psychedelics in helping to heal the world. When you do healing work on yourself, you're also doing it for others—because you bring that energy back with you. People notice the shifts in you, and that can inspire them to reflect and maybe start their own journey. The way you respond to situations, the way you show up for others—it changes, and that kind of energy is contagious.

It sounds cheesy, but it’s true: the change really does start with you.

Yes, because you create an energy field around you.

Yes, it elevates the planet’s vibration. It’s a beautiful journey to witness psychedelics becoming a bit more accepted, and to see more public conversations happening around MDMA, mushrooms, and ketamine. It’s cool to see news channels or social media talking about these things—so people who might not normally have access to this information, like your grandpa, can see it on the news and maybe, if they’re feeling really depressed, consider trying it. It’s just really nice to see the conversation opening up.